The Evolved: Part One (2006) 1h 22min · Comedy · 5 September 2006
Dead dogs, foetus burgers and Nazi clown-chefs; something smells fishy in London; and for once it's not Glover's pants. Detective Danny Glover, Scarborough Police's premier dog-napping-ring buster and general fat bastard, arrives in London to help the clinically psychotic Detective Sonny Boy with a little problem: Who is butchering London's dogs? The answer seems obvious at first, it must be Burger Priest; the Pope's Neo-Nazi clown-chef empire: home of the 'Amen with Cheese', a rancid burger made of fingernails, turds and aborted foetii; just don't ask what goes into their 'Nunion Rings'! Detectives Glover and Sonny Boy engage on a covert mission to uncover Burger Priest's dark secret; but even they are unprepared for the true horror and depth of the fast food franchise's depravity. Assisted by Feety, a heroin-addicted foetus, and Ellen Mellon, a New York reporter who also happens to be an animated ventriloquist's doll, they must reveal the Pope's evil plan and shut down Burger Priest for good. Along the way they learn the truth behind London's drug-addled pregnant teenagers and come face to face with the reality of their own sordid addictions. If this isn't enough, there's a third force at work. Something is stalking and killing Burger Priest's Nazi clown-chef army. Something that crawled out of the ocean, hell bent on revenge. A creature so terrifying men dare not speak its name; the semi-evolved shark terror known only as: THE EVOLVED. If only God existed, maybe he could help you. - Written by Phillip Barron
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